Kitchens finished BUT

[scotty73]

Well i finally finished my new kitchen on Saturday it took a good few weeks but a lot of work has been done because it's next to my bathroom that also had to have some work done and with health issues I've done it when feeling up to it.

My back is broken and I'm aching like a bastard so yesterday lying in bed thinking of a lie in she says (you know what the living room looks scruffy now that you've glossed the other side of the door i think I'll go get more gloss and have a go at it myself later)
Oh and the bottom paper needs replacing so I'll do that too. And it needs doing before the christmas tree goes up next weekend

She comes back with the gloss and says how are YOU going to gloss the dado rail? won't you get some on the top paper? well i fell about laffing while shouting you fooking biatch you have no intension of doing this do you?

well i openly admitted on here last week that i never take her shopping and it seems she's quite happy with that because she knows while shopping that I'll be here using the tools and materials she bought on her previous shopping trip.... It's taken me nearly 20 years to realise jush how much of a clever conniving bitch she really is.


ARGGGHHHHHHHHH f*cking women.

[Welly]

Last time my missus asked (or was it told) me to gloss the stairs I promptly removed the stair carpet and associated grippers to allow access to the works.........WTF have you done with 'my' carpet? she exclaimed.

We lived without said carpet for nearly 4 months I believe

[DaiRees]

Ah, that's a variation on the old "I've started it..." trick. Mrs Dai employs that one, she starts doing something then either a) asks for help then slopes off when I arrive, or b) just leaves things unfinished knowing it'll drive me up the wall until I finish it! She wouldn't try the "I've bought the stuff for you to....." one though, because she knows the stuff would just sit there, unused

[scotty73]

We lived without said carpet for nearly 4 months I believe

I was just looking at my stairs now thinking fook it she's not going to let me get away with painting to the bottom of them and leaving the damn stairs i can see me working right up around the landing to the bedrooms that apparently need doing soon ... I'm doomed, anyone got a proper job for me? you know one where you get paid?

DaiRees
she knows the stuff would just sit there, unused

And me normally it's a good job i actually want to see these jobs done myself... I saw this all coming weeks ago i been waiting for her to mention it but i think she knew better than to say it while the kitchen was being done

Actually theres 3 wall tiles that need putting on in the kitchen then grouted i might get my own back and leave it for 7 years like i did with the bathroom skirting.

[Welly]

My own record is the partly-fitted 'integrated oven' appliance which was neither fully 'home' or flush with the surrounding units meaning the plinths had to be removed and left off.

The reason was the new cooker was clashing with the gas supply to the hob meaning I'd need to re-route the gas via the base unit next to it, meaning half the kitchen being ripped out, time off work, etc etc..

12-ish months later one Saturday I had a brain wave and carefully cut a slot out of the rear oven casing to 'accept' the gas pipe (I did it properly with high-temp sealer and metal plates) epic bodge nonetheless

Even visitors to the house were astounded that I'd actually finished the job; I just nodded and winked, knowingly

Currently I believe my next challenge is to 'fix' the Argos/Homebase wardrobes which have all fallen to bits cheaply-made chipboard furniture anyone? best place for that rubbish is on a large fire. I know I bought the stuff but it was all I could manage 8 years ago (probably all I can now too).

Her indoors spotted some sliding-door fully fitted jobbie - until I clocked the price of it

[scotty73]

You know that epic bodge could have netted you a £50.000 fine?
I found out a few weeks back when my father in law got on his high horse after me disconnecting the hob and planning to fit the new one myself... ffs all it was, was undoing a f*cking nut and doing it back up again with gas turned off... He was bitching because i couldn't get hold of my corgi registered mate so i undone it myself... I got hold of him in the ended and it cost me £20 worth of strongbow tokens but he done a proper job fitting a new valve and everything.

It's all regulations with everything these days.

[lozz]

My wife has been moaning for anew kitchen for years but shes never got one,
iwas going to rip it all out at first until ifound out what it is,

it was built in the 1950s made from spitfire Metal,
its built to last so it can stay put, can compressed card board last that long ?

[Welly]

You know that epic bodge could have netted you a £50.000 fine? ............
corgi registered ................
It's all regulations with everything these days.

I didn't actually work on the gas pipe, just near it I thought you could only be fined if you worked on someone else's gas if it's in your home and you own it then you've only got yourself to blame? (that's probably a bit narrow minded but hey).

Anyway, check this for Corgi/Acopsyness...........when we bought our house newly constructed in 2003 as the first owners I was convinced sometimes there was a little whiff of gas around the hob (when you opened the draw next to it)..........fast forward a few months and I had a closer looky........the Union nut under the hob was leaking gas I did my own soap test first on the thread and it was blowing tiny bubbles - a quick 'nip up' with me adjustable spanner and it was sorted.

My neigh-bore discovered a charred MCB in his consumer unit where one of the Power circuit screws had not been tightened (it had been arcing - looked like some kind of evidence from a house fire, he was really mad about it).

I guess I'm saying that getting a 'professional' in is not always as good as doing something carefully yourself (armed with the right knowledge and kit).

[lozz]

ive fitted a few of my own gas cookers in the past, never had a problem.
ionly got one warning and that was for not having a chain fitted to the cooker,

[Welly]

i only got one warning and that was for not having a chain fitted to the cooker,

and you wonder why your missus moans at you

[steve_earwig]

I guess I'm saying that getting a 'professional' in is not always as good as doing something carefully yourself (armed with the right knowledge and kit).

Yes, but if you all die in a fire your relatives can sue the fitter

I realise most of these things are to stop the occasional chimpanzee rewiring their house with bell wire but ffs most of this stuff is perfectly within the capabilities of anyone with more than 3 braincells. Do we need to call a fitter in now to change a fuse or a light bulb?

[scotty73]

i only got one warning and that was for not having a chain fitted to the cooker,

and you wonder why your missus moans at you

If that was lozz's attempt at a joke it was a fooking cracker and i missed it .... Sadly here it would be me chained to it but that's another reason it took so long for the kitchen to get done my way.

Welly you're probably right but my father in law is an arse he said you do know whoever disconnected that could get a £50.000 fine and 6 months in prison don't you? to which i replied.
f*cking good job i won't be relying on you to look after my kids when I'm doing time then ain't it.

It was actually disconnected by my mate showed me how to fit the kitchen but i couldn't let him think that.

[lozz]

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