and today i have mostly been...

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highlander
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by highlander »

Oh, and concerning your asshole cat-shooting neighbours - try this gem I read about on Pistonheads:
Big bag of frozen sausages from Asda. Other supermarkets are available but you're up north.

Hammer them into his lawn vertically.

Wait until thawed, and every bird/badger/hedgehog/dog/fox in the area has ripped his lawn a new one.

If it's a big enough lawn, words can be formed in Ardennes style trenches.

Like a big Art Attack.

OP, do you look like Neil Buchanen?

The other one I read on there, which is genius, is to save your used engine oil in a can - then pour some on their driveway, directly under their engine. They'll go NUTS trying to work out where the "leak" is coming from. Works best if they give a crap about their car, keep their car outdoors overnight, and have a concrete / paving slab driveway.

This is, of course, in lieu of an actual, suitable punishment for blatant animal cruelty (dismemberment, followed by eternity in the fieriest pits of Hell, with special punishment assignments being handed out by the Devil himself, such as "flay your own genitals and then rub them with salty lemon juice", "replace your toilet paper with a high velocity belt sander" and "use this bottle of Dorset Naga Chilli Sauce instead of eye drops").
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steve_earwig
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by steve_earwig »

That's some very good ideas :twisted:

Sadly, they have no lawn and their cars are parked behind the house somewhere in the outbuildings. He has an elderly diesel Fiat of some sort, it often wakes me up starting with a loud clatter around 5am. This gives me a warm feeling as he's on his way to work, come rain, hail, sleet or snow, while I can turn over and go back to sleep. Mrs. Retard has a fairly new Seat Toledo (I think, shaped like a loaf of bread anyway) which I've seen her drive across the level crossing here while the barriers are down with the two idiot boys in the back (where's an express when you need it?) I've also seen him pressure washing it :lol:

My brother suggested putting a camera on them but I think they'd notice that, our house is a meter from the fence there and there aint nothing else we could be filming. My mate Max's suggestion was to water their apple trees with sulphuric acid, which is what I was working on. I did also think of walking down their garden with a sprayer full of herbicide but that'd be pretty obvious and our plants are out the back there too.
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highlander
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by highlander »

steve_earwig wrote:I did also think of walking down their garden with a sprayer full of NAPALM but that'd be pretty COOL
Corrected your statement, sir.
2002 (D9) Peugeot 406 Coupe SE, 2.2 litre Petrol. Scarlet Red/Rouge Ecarlate/Rosso Scarlatto. Black Leather interior. SOLD :(
2008 (E60 LCI) BMW 525i M-Sport, 3.0 litre Petrol. Carbonschwarz Metallic. Black Dakota Leather and Myrtlewood interior.
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steve_earwig
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by steve_earwig »

highlander wrote:
steve_earwig wrote:I did also think of walking through their HOUSE with a sprayer full of NAPALM but that'd be pretty COOL
Corrected your statement, sir.
I also think about using a parabolic reflector made out of a satellite dish to set their house on fire.
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PeterN
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by PeterN »

They probably wouldn't notice a dashcam on the inside of your window.

Peter
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by steve_earwig »

There aren't any windows that side :(
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Doggy
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by Doggy »

Image
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PeterN
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by PeterN »

Drone?
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by OllieNZ »

PeterN wrote:Drone?
Apache attack chopper would be my choice ;)

Sorry to hear aboot the troubles Steve, I hope the kitteh recovers well.
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by steve_earwig »

He's getting there ta. As it's a week since his surgery this morning Mirela took his bandages off to check his leg - it looked perfect to me, about 3" long with maybe 10 stitches, no weeping, puckering, nothing. Mirela was very satisfied with it and put the dressings back, this time looser so he can use the leg more. The stitches will come out Friday, He seems quite happy mostly but I know he'd dearly love to go outside. Sadly that wont be for another 3 weeks.

Couple o' pics:

Bored, bored, bored.
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Image

Image

Charlie chokes down some chicken teriyaki
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PeterN
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by PeterN »

Well he certainly looks happy enough I'm' pleased its going so well, You should get him a flack jacket for when he goes out again..

Peter

Here are our three
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Welly
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by Welly »

Glad he's on the mend, what a big bandage!
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by steve_earwig »

It's supposed to immobilise his leg, like a plaster cast.
PeterN wrote:Here are our three
But but but... how do you tell them apart? :shock:

Thankyou for you kind words chaps :) As mentioned he was back Mirela early Friday morning to have his stitches out and a smaller dressing. Unfortunatly he seemed to be having a bad time with it so he was back to Mirela later in the day to have it redone, to be honest I think she made it worse - I know she's doing her best but she has to cover all eventualities, so he ended up even more immobile. He just sat in the loft all day Saturday looking miserable:
Image
He didn't even fell like eating so I ended up hand-feeding him. Not that i mind but it shouldn't be like that. So we had a word with Mirela, who was a actually coming to us with her son Ian for some English lessons. The plan was to remove all the dressings and see how he got on. The big worry is the wound driving him nuts and the risk of further damage:

I can see my leg!
Image

He was fine though, he washed it a fair but but nothing too agressive and the decision was made to leave him like that.

No problems here!
Image

He's still hobbling around on it but at least he's mobile.

Back next Wednesday for a "follow up". He's still made keen to go out but he can't do that until a month has gone by since his op, which will be 16th December.

Also this is a big inconvenience all round as the house has to be shut up all the time, even the cat flap, so all the other animals are having to wait at doors all the time. Ah well, we'll all survive.
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by PeterN »

With difficulty.

Peter

Hope the recovery goes to plan
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Doggy
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Re: and today i have mostly been...

Post by Doggy »

Hope he gets better / gets out soon, Steve.
2002 HDi 2.2 Exec Estate, (2008-12) (wonderful)
2003 HDi 2.2 6-speed Exec Estate (2012-19) (also a gem)
2009 Citroen C5 2.0 HDi VTR+ Estate (godawful heap)
2008 BMW E91 330i touring (great fun - murdered by a reversing SUV)
2007 BMW E91 325i touring (slower smoother quieter)
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